Tuesday, March 23, 2010

"When Ordering a Woman"

"When Ordering a Woman"

(The thoughts of a Connoisseur a.k.a. Julius)
by Julius
Copyright March 2010

There are so many variables, that choosing a woman, perfectly suited to all one’s needs, is a daunting task. That said, the following might aid the prospective owner. The sequence of headings is deliberately random so I beg you to remember that wherever a requirement falls in the list, its position should not influence your thinking.

Height: This matters little if she is pleasing to the eye. However, if you have any choice in her height, imagine her bent submissively over the kitchen table. If her opening is level with your groin and she is therefore comfortably mountable in this position, then this is ideal. Measure yourself, floor to cock root and commit this figure to memory. If this measurement is not given for a woman you find attractive, you must ask.

Bosom: I like ’em good and heavy myself, bordering on pendulous but of course this is a matter of preference. However, the importance of there being a sufficiency of flesh to allow titty fucking cannot be emphasised enough. Each breast should fill your hand to overflowing, this allows you or she to enclose the whole of your member comfortably in soft, yielding breast flesh. A small breasted or boyish figure is of no use for this pleasure of course.

Nipples: All the better too if her breasts have large nipples - “All the better to suck and bite on my dear!” Also, they can be a great comfort at any time you find yourself overstressed. A perfect means of administering pain or pleasure.

Her and anal sex: In my opinion anal sex and bathing in a septic tank are much of a muchness. That is to say, it is not my choice. Of course this is another of those personal matters. Rarely need her preferences in any matter be considered. However, be sure that her preference in this matter matches yours. You don’t want to have her whining for a cock up the arse when you don’t want to put it there or, conversely, whining that she doesn’t, when you do. Her obedience is a given but they are inclined to complain, even when they should not.

Age: There is no substitute for experience of course. That is not to say that ‘the older the better’ but rather, better mature than immature. Younger women tend to be silly and quite scatter-brained and therefore quickly become tiresome. But be cautious, older women tend to feel a sense (undeserved of course) of superiority. Perhaps early thirties is best. Then she will still have some good years left in her while being more entertaining in those post coital times when conversation can be enjoyable if it is relatively intelligent.

Weight: Avoid thin women! Boniness can cause bruising to your person while engaged in vigorous copulation. Do not choose a woman who is all elbows and hipbones. Softness and warmth are so important in a bed warmer. Beware too much weight of course! A man might suffer suffocation or crushing or worse while underneath such a one. But a little soft flesh provides good hand-grips when romping with her and good cushioning when your passions run amok. The rule is: some buxomness is essential. One can always feed them less and/or exercise them more, an easy means of control, should excessive weight gain occur.

Manners: All a man asks is obedience and a quiet disposition. She must not be forever chattering; she must be silent unless spoken to. Of course during copulation she may be vocal if only to display how well you are pleasing her while pleasing yourself. By all means let her be the vocal evidence of your prowess.

Arse: Full and round. This cleft is as good a spot as the bosom in which to do a little cleavage fucking from time to time. A well-spanked bottom is a pretty sight too and a delightful warmth in bed on a cold night. Her backside is of course ideal as the means of disciplining your woman. Sadly they tend to enjoy having their nethers reddened so alternative punishments may have to be sought.

On the subject of punishment or discipline: no matter whether she likes corporal punishment or not.If she DOES, then the hairbrush, cane or whatever can be a source of pleasure for both of you and if punishment is needed, simply lay it on the harder.If she likes it NOT, no matter. The smack of wood or leather on her pretty arse can serve as pleasure for you or punishment for her - at your whim. So, she’ll be getting her buttocks reddened anyway. No woman can avoid having a few imperfections. The more she needs correcting, the more pleasure you’ll derive doing that correcting! Remember the sorer the arse, the prettier a woman sits.

The muff or pubic hair: No question here. Where possible, choose a hirsute love mound. If your preference is trimmed or shaven, considerable pleasure will be derived from doing the barbering yourself. There can be few joys to match using comb, scissors and razor in this fashion. So, choose a cunny au naturel.

There gentlemen, ten suggestions. Finding the perfect plaything may not be easy. Try as many samples as you deem necessary in your quest for the ideal. Never hesitate to give them chores to do while you are trying them for your physical pleasures. A gentleman friend of mine got his whole mansion spring-cleaned before finding his heart’s desire.

Remember, God made pretty women for us; it would be a sin not to enjoy them.